 | @lcdsoundsystem: That black eyed peas dirty dancing thing is worse than raping a cat. What is wrong with people? Do they hate ears? |
 | @BrunoMars: I know some of yall got that Bieber Fever. But what I really wanna know is... who's tryna catch some of this MARS S.A.R.S?!?!? #eeeeeewwwww |
 | @keshasuxxke$ha (ke$ha): Buttholder. A) a special position of employment whose sole purpose is to hold my butt when not in use. Or B) new word I use for underwear ? |
 | @NeYoCompound (Ne-Yo!!): Wow. Snooki is on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Really? I quit. (Just kidding, but almost serious....) |
 | @DawnRichard : Irony :I auditioned for A.I. 2wice and they said my voice wasn't strong enough ..Now I'm performing for the 2nd time on the show! GodIsreal! |
 | 50cent: ok no homo is officially banded from my time line. If you choose a alternative life style that's your business. Sh*t I'm a PIMP lol |
 | @JoelMadden: It must be a slow news week when magazines & blogs are writing about my wife buying expensive pillows |
 | @KimKardashian : Hi NYC! I missed u! When going thru airport security I saw this! LOLhttp://twitpic.com/474exx |
 | @lilyroseallen : oh, and yesterday i ordered spaghetti bolognese from room service, there was a cockroach in it. fucking gross.......... |
 | @CHRIS_Daughtry : Hey McDonalds drivethru lady! You ruined my latte! Maybe you shouldn't put your over perfumed hand on or around where peeps put their mouths |
 | @KrisAllen : Lady getting on the plane: "How am I supposed to hold my cocktail when I have my baby." Thanks for having priorities mom. @allen_kimberly |
 | @MikePosner: Um & March just smacked me in the face. 3rd month of the year already?! |
 | @THEREALBANNER (DAVID BANNER) : I wish I could get breast fed |
 | @jakeowen: Whoever is responsible for creating Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies deserves a high five. |
 | @mattnathanson : i think one of my cats is gay. |
 | @AndrewWK: Back in 1998 I quit partying. It was the worst 10 minutes of my life. |
 | @blakeshelton: Side note #2: Just found a Lego I've been missing for over 25 years in my belly button!!!! #winningwithlint |
 | @ItsRachelZevita: Icropped bc I'm classy; had to post in honor of #bootyappreciationday. This is a real place btw, drive to Delaware! http://twitpic.com/47dkgb |
 | @EstelleDarlings (Estelle): Remember that one time when I was being awesome? - › Oh wait, that's all the time. http://tumblr.com/xd61pklpiz |
 | @robhuebel : Woke up buried under a 40 lb. mountain of chips and salsa. I think it was some sort of gang-warning. |
 | @Pink: Out of Myself, Britney, and Christina- didn't everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker? LOOK MA!!! No CUFFS!!! |
 | @JoshGroban: How come as a "classically influenced pop singer" I don't get to lash out in song at the haters the way rappers do? |
 | @ladygaga: BORN THIS WAY. WRITTEN BY LADY GAGA. DIRECTED BY NICK KNIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY BY LAURIE ANN GIBSON. WELCOME TO G.O.A.T. http://bit.ly/hGQJpd |
 | @questlove (Questo of the Roots): tyson got me wanting to raise pigeons. |
 | @travisclark (We the Kings): Jay-Z is the man. Such a stand up individual and talented human being. |
 | @JulietSimmsALL (Juliet Simms): I'd catch a grenade for yaa too..if the pin was still in it |
 | @IAmJessieJames (Jessie James): I like morning breath. Sometimes I dont wanna brush my teeth for a few hours. Call me sick. I don't care |
 | @JulianPerretta : March? Already? only 28 days in Febuary? I needed a couple more. Why didn't anybody warn me! |
 | @TheFatBoys : Oh, ok. I didnt know Dancing with The Stars had FAT people on it. Sign me up |
 | @ClaudeKelly : so wait, according to Mr. Farrakhan, if you enjoy Rihanna you're "swine"...What in the heat wave hell? or should i just say "oink oink?" |
 | @JeanGreasy (JeanGrae): Love should inspire and make you want to be a better human. If it's doing something else, RUN!!! |
 | @TheRealJordin (Jordin Sparks): Um & March just smacked me in the face. 3rd month of the year already?! |
 | @Diplo : killer african bees r coming to get me |
 | @jeweljk (Jewel): Every1 acts like its ok 2 abandon all manners when at the airport. Elbows flying on way 2 escalator jst 2 wait 4 an hour at the same gate |
 | @Toddyrockstar (Todrick Hall of American Idol):Guess we'll all have to count on Beyonce to ONCE AGAIN come hold it down for the divas since Gaga and Britney are slacking |
 | @MarkHoppus: Just saw a grown woman pick her nose and eat it. So gnarly. Had to share with someone. Thanks for listening. |
 | @TedLeo (Ted Leo of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists):.@anniemonster "The Spaghetti Warehouse???" Is it haunted by the ghosts of actual Italian people bemoaning the amount of sugar in the sauce? |
 | @LeonaLewisMusic: It's so sad how some women try and bring other women down or pit them against eachother. We need to be elevating eachother stop hating |
 | @jasonderulo: Is it just me? Every time I send some1 a text that was meant 4 someone else, it's always the worst ones! LOL |
 | @SiaMusic (Sia): also i am wearing a diaper on my head, as i forgot my shower cap for this conditioning treatment. it's actually way snugglier and less noisy |
